Showing posts with label love and relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love and relationships. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

October 11, 2009

At midnight, on October 11, 2009, I was just waking from a nap and sorting through piles of clothes in my room. I was looking for an outfit to wear to DC the next day for the National Equality March. I wanted something bright, colorful. I wanted to look good. I wanted to look approachable. I wanted something that said, Greetings! I come in peace. I couldn't settle on one outfit so I sat several to the side and tried to focus on getting some sleep before my (early for me) wake up call. It was a tough sell for my body. All the nerves and thoughts were keeping it up. Will it be awkward? Will there be a good turnout? Will I actually see Lady Gaga? Will I actually walk the whole march, or give up? Will I be able to handle the backlash? I wasn't entirely sure what would be in store for me the following day but I knew one thing: I was going to do my part in standing up for equality and I didn't give a damn what anyone else had to say about it.

I ended up wearing a lame outfit. Opting for practicality over fabulosity. I had to account for it being October in the DMV, my tendency to be colder than the rest of the world, and my need for pockets. I ate a heavy breakfast, packed my backpack, grabbed two bottles of water and headed for the Metro. As I pulled up, I saw a large group of people marching with rainbow flags and I couldn't hide my excitement on my face. I later discovered that the large group of people were all from Vermont and that was when I realized, this was going to be epic.

I arrived in DC just after 10am and the meeting place (15th & I) was not as packed as some people seemed to think it would be but I kept reminding them, it was still early. I was right. By 11:30, I couldn't see much of anything but people and rainbows. It was a beautiful sight. I was so proud in that moment. I was proud of my race, the human race that is. I was even proud of my country. Proud that we can have a moment like this. Even the cops weren't being too big of assholes. It was such an awesome feeling. The best part of it was that there was an overwhelming feeling of love. This march, this rally was not about hate. It was about love. I know that it was specifically about equality and rights for ALL people, but on a larger scale - it was still about love. The amount of love and camaraderie I witnessed was inspiring and telling. Maybe this world isn't so bleak as I usually think it is. Maybe there is hope for us after all.

I was happy to find every person so friendly and approachable because I rode solo. I know this is probably strange to most people, especially considering I'm straight and have a horrible sense of direction (two things that have nothing to do with each other but are both true) but I was not going to let this pass me by just because I didn't have someone to go with. I want to be able to look back on my life and know that when the times were changing, I stood up for what I knew was right. I found several people who were willing to have me march with them. These two nice gentleman from Houston, TX were keeping me company early in the AM and even gave me a flag because I didn't have any rainbow pride. :) Overall though, the various members of the International Socialist Organization (ISO) that I encountered made the largest impression. It was with ISO and my new group of friends (Nicole, Luis, Katy, Nicole's fiance with the awesome beignet beads who's name I can't remember, and another girl who's name I can't remember but only because she came later) that I marched to the capital with, in the end.

Overall, my experience at the National Equality March was more than positive. I expected to see so many people protesting what we were doing. I expected to be treated with hostility by law enforcement. I thought I would get many more looks coming home on the Metro, holding my Rainbow/Equality Flag. None of my negative expectations came true and I was pleasantly surprised. I did leave early because I was so tired, hungry, and I was actually starting to feel sick. I didn't want to though. The speeches I got to hear before I had to leave were powerful and smart. Many of them mentioning how important it is that us young people understand that we are extremely necessary in this movement, this fight. I can't say enough, how proud I was yesterday of people. I read that there were 200,000 people marching yesterday but I swear to you if felt like 2 million. Two million new best friends out there trying to make a change for the better.

With that, I'll say one final piece and post some pictures. I support the LGBTQ community. I always have and I always will. I am for human rights and whether you like it or not, the LGBTQ community are humans too. Don't tell me you are for human rights but you don't support them. That makes no sense. I try to be respectful toward others and their right to have different opinions but I really don't understand people who feel that all people shouldn't be treated as equals. Whether you like their "lifestyle" or not, it should be obvious that they should have the same rights you and I do. So, I will forever be their ally and will always try to do my very best to support and aide them in their fight for equality. In the end, it's not just their fight, it's all of ours. And even though my legs are burning right now, that just means I need to work out more often because I'd do that march 100x over. I won't shut up and I won't give up until we are all equal. That is all. Enjoy my pictures. :)




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Now playing: Dragonette - Liar
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I Wish I Never Sucked Your Dick (An Ode to Bad Decisions)

(Just in time for UK National Poetry month, even though I'm American. lol)

I wish I wasn’t raised on Southern values and charm
because then I’d wouldn’t speak to strangers
and I’d never had met you that night
I wish I wasn’t a full –time Facebook Creeper
because then I wouldn’t have added you as a friend
and you wouldn’t have hit me up on Facebook Chat
and we wouldn’t have exchanged AIM screenames
and we wouldn’t have talked all night
and I wouldn’t have agreed to hang out with you
and we wouldn’t have gone to your house
and we wouldn’t have lain down in your bed
and I wouldn’t have let you kiss me or unbuckle my belt
But what’s most important to understand
Is that I never would have sucked your dick

Now, I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life
Been a drunk whore a time or two or three
Making out with friends exes
Tried to walk out into traffic once
Slept with my ex’s best friend
But for every horrible mistake I’ve made
I know the frame of mind I was in
and I tend to regret the action, not the experience
I do my best to learn from my mistakes
but I don’t know what I am to make of this
when I can’t even understand why I ever sucked your dick

I went through the normal check-list:
Drunk? Nope
Drugs? Never
Roofie? Not even
Emotional Stress? No more than usual
Attraction? Not even slightly.
Personality? Yours sucks.
The best I could come up with
is that being up for over 24-hours led to sleep deprivation
and my state of mind was altered, judgment impaired
But shouldn’t sleepiness make me lazy?
Shouldn’t it make me not want to suck a dick?

I just can’t seem to sort through it
and I sincerely wish it never happened
when it was over, you asked me what was wrong
as I sat on the bed paralyzed from my actions
trying to understand what I’d done and why I’d done it
Did I feel sorry for you?
When you begged, you said it’d been so long since…
Was I just a slut?
No, couldn’t be. Many a more desirable dick I had turned down.
So then, what?
WHY THE HELL DID I SUCK YOUR DICK?

I erased you from my phone
I had to block you on AIM
I need to delete you on Facebook
and unfollow you on twitter
because every time I see your stupid rap name
I could nearly black out from the rage
and I know it’s not your fault but I just keep picturing
your nasty ass dick coming at me like a torpedo
and I just want to gargle with boiling water
because, though its been months, I still can’t wash it away
I guess the lesson I can take away from this is
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to
and I could’ve sworn that was a lesson I knew
but I guess I’m learning it all over again
I accept that this is my shame to live with
and I should be happy there weren’t other consequences
but the fact remains that not a day goes by
that I don’t wish I never sucked your dick